Thursday, June 14, 2007

My comment to the "Hug"

I have been reading Niki's blogs "Touch Hunger" and "What's in a Hug?". I want to add my comment. Instead of posting it as a comment to her blog, I decided to tell my story here.

One of the worst things about being alone (divorced or single) is the loneliness. The lack of human contact. Yes, the conversation but more the touch. There is no one there to give comfort when you are having a bad day at work. There is no one to give a hug just because. After many years, I still struggle with this. I am a person that needs that touch. Most days I can keep the desire at bay. But every once in awhile, I am just not strong enough to controll that wanting and every thing comes crashing down.

Case in point: In late May, a friend's son was killed in action in Iraq. It has been a hard time of grieving. But her recovery has started. Last Wednesday night was her first time back at church since this happened. I had gone to where she was sitting to speak to her and church started. First, I felt it would be rude to move to another place, so I sit with her and her husband. He, through his grief was being her support. I kept noticing that he held her hand or laid his hand on her leg or put his arm around her all the way through the class. It did not take me long to notice my feelings about this. I kept sitting there thinking that (at this point in my life) if I suffered a loss of a loved one, I would not have that someone to provide that desired compassion. The unspoken love, comfort, compassion that comes from that touch. It sadden me for the rest of the evening. I have mentioned this to several people over the years by saying that I wished I had a husband who would give me that "touching" support. Their response usually is that their husband does not do that. This saddens me because we all need the chemisty that comes from human touch.

On the brighter side of this: The one good thing about the place where I work is that I work with a woman in her mid 60's. She is the "touchy-feelly" grandmother and she loves to give hugs and to rub your back (like a mini massage). She greeted me the other day by saying "I have not touched you today." I have gotten where I look forward to her hugs and I have found I miss them if she has not "greeted" me for a few days.

So----Here's my hug for you today. It will have to do until we are together for a real one.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Time marches on

I have always heard the old saying:

Time flies when you are having fun.


But I realized on Saturday, that time has help in flying by too fast. I went into Hobby Lobby. As I entered the store, there was a big display of 4th of July stuff. No problem since the 4th is less than a month away. I must say I am used to Hobby Lobby putting out their Christmas merchandise early. Hey, it takes time to make those craft projects that are used to decorate with or those that are to be given. What did I see when I rounded the aisle? Rows and rows of fall leaves and pumpkins. All the summer stuff had been moved to a couple of aisles to make room for fall. I love fall but hey it was June 2nd and the first day of summer has not even happened yet.


Time is something that is passing quickly. And we need to enjoy it while we can. I try to live by my motto.

Life is short, Live it to the fullest. Laugh at it. Enjoy it. Value it.

I just feel that life and time go speeding by on its own time table, which is too qucikly. It seems like I just moved into my house in the last few months but it has been 14 years. It does not help that stores are making the march of time even quicker. I think I would like to enjoy summer for a short time before I move into fall (football, cool weather, and college). Ok I was dreaming about my favorite season. Lets focus on summer. Trips to the lake, vacations to fun places (disney world or Savannah, Ga), no school, staying up late, sleeping late, summer movies, picnics, homemake ice cream, baseball. I want to slow down a bit but will the marketing world let me?

I know that time marches on. I just want it to be a slower march. So what is the rest of the story? I looked at the fall leaves and decided to buy mine in September. If there are any left, then I was meant to have them. And by then all that stuff will be on clearance in order to get ready for Easter.