Something New

I have started somethine new.

Let me start by saying that I have been in reflection for about three months (and in some areas for about three years.) This is mainly about things becoming old habit. My job, for instance, is something I totally deplore. Basically, I hate the job I do and the hours I do it. Try as I may, I have not been able to find another job, but I keep praying for something to come my way. I had a couple of days off in April where I did stuff around town, without even thinking about the job. Sunday night before I had to return to work on Monday, I cried myself through my prayers and then to sleep. For the entire next week, I was in a depressed state. Nothing seemed to be able to pull me out of the feelings I was having. I must also say that not all of it was from work. I had just closed a play production of The Elephant Man. I knew I would not see my theatre friends for several months and I was a little let down about that. Also, a real good friend of mine left to return to work in Australia for an undetermined stay. I had not gotten to see him the whole time he was back in Texas and now he was gone and there was an uncertainity about when I will ever get to see him again.

So a week pasted with me in this depressed state. This monday morning I had a few minutes before I had to be at work. I remebered several people saying they say their prayers in the morning as opposed to the evening, like I do. Why not, I thought. Monday was something different and new for me. I did not get another job but I was able to go through the day at the current job easier and without much grief. I felt God's arms around me giving me comfort and courage that day. Today is Wednesday and I have begun every day this week in prayer. Nothing major has occurred. Just a certain peace.